scratching and turning

2010-08-19T22:56:00.000-07:00

You have this glimpse that it's not
gonna matter so much
in the future

and you ask
"Can it not
not matter right now

and I'll pay it in installments?"

Sunday the thirteenth

2010-06-13T15:25:00.000-07:00

bereft
by winterwinter
handskin chipped
moleskin chipped
seabirds chirped

my good my ghosts my gusto
who else will I trust, Zaratustra?
you too is a ghost

2010-02-09T19:01:00.000-08:00

I know it's coming rich and thick
with meaning.
but no siree
but no siree
it's not coming to me.

"all truths wait in all things"

2009-12-06T17:10:00.000-08:00

how unassuming
and hotel-roomy
to intuit

to sit with me
and wait me free
each tinsy bit

I shut this day
and wake away
with him in mind

joys will elope
but jazz I hope
won't lag behind

keeping count

2009-10-20T16:47:00.001-07:00

20 cigarettes a day
(hopefully now 17),
16, 13 pages written
times 5 writing days a week,
3 sets of each exercise,
each with 15 repetitions,
60 meals,
6 hours’ sleep,
20 nights properly spent
make 20 hundred (minus rent).

7 syllables a verse
50 poems would make a book,
1 idea might be enough
but I don’t know where to look.

the sheep sure jump by
(21, 22), but I
cannot see beyond the fence:
where do counted numbers go
after you count them?
themselves to sleep, so they can again and again
ennumerate?
or do they perhaps accumulate
into useless millions and gazillions?

that is the 101
of my countless indecisions.

pacerer's nightsong

2009-09-29T17:51:00.000-07:00

pacing back and forth
past the time to sleep,
stomach starts to churn
skin begins to creep.

wish there was a way
to keep the sun at bay,
so I'd get there tonight
before first morning light.

2009-09-15T01:08:00.000-07:00

birds of a feather
in warm, sunny weather
often flock apart.

it takes heart for togetherness
and heart sometimes
takes flight.

2009-08-06T21:38:00.001-07:00

A little house in the woods
and a small boyfriend in town.
(There is more than meets the eye
to the perfect combination.)

I thank you vastly for this long good day.
May my other days be good in other ways.

poem for e.e.cummings

2009-07-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

e.e.cummings man you got it going,your
voice is many fingertouches
without poking,it
moves not breaking anything(like
spring or a cat)strokes
immensely in line a star,
an eye awake,a breast

e.e.cummings you be soft,thick
with yes and many hands unfold and close,with
(on them lamps)nightstands you
have seen may & sun two world wars new york

i dreamed you e.e.cummings in a moon-balloon descending,
said“feeling is first to pay any attention
to the syntax of things,
love
is more thicker than forget,
makes the little thickness of the coin”

e.e.cummings i never looked up
your names i don’t think
you would mind

from the personal ads

2009-07-05T16:55:00.000-07:00

little cat seeks little cat
for sharing food and paper box
and climbing walls and chasing bugs
and other usual little cats’ doings.

please be a good size and furry,
have a purring belly and warm paws
with no long nails sticking out or
making it’s-not-funny faces.
may have a habit of disappearing,
or coming late, or staying awake.
may not be always sleepy or always creepy
or irreversibly couch-driven

versatility’s optional
creativity’s not
and a strong taste for adventure
will be much appreciated.
(oh, and
flexible legs and joints, that will bend
to our every feline whim.)

no appointment’s necessary
if you think of coming round
just look for brown-eyed whiskers,
seventh window from the ground

poem after taking metronidazole

2009-06-16T13:09:00.000-07:00

I’m sorry that you have to go, giardia lamblia.
I hope you don’t mind dying so much.
that’s gotta be an advantage of being
microbia.

2009-06-14T15:15:00.000-07:00

if you like him only when you’re feeling weak
and you dream of better men when you’re asleep,
then perhaps the strongest one in you
wants to tell your heart that you can do
without all these warm sleepy weekends, neverending hugs,
neverending yes and nightly wishing good-night.

if you’re feeling tired in a restless way
and you have the same sensation every day,
don’t marry him.
nobody wants you to do it.
he doesn’t want it either and
if he says so, he is merely deluded.
what spark of secret joy
would shine in such unsecret disguise?
which hero in your army
would approve of your refusing to get wounded?

if you think true life is in a different city
and you see no truth in marrying out of pity,
don’t marry him.
there are better reasons
you may not even know.
there may be more comfort on the streets
than in a sorry place to rest your feet.

2009-06-05T20:54:00.000-07:00

to you, heartfelt resolutions
that never found way to the heart.
you, that got caught and starved
in the streets of a weekday,
or lost around a corner
which you did not turn.
and yet under the sun you departed,
and gates were opened
(specifically for you)
and heart’s stony tower was in sight.

well, you were seeing right

2009-05-29T16:10:00.000-07:00

you know that it's not worth one minute of your scratching
and turning at night.

you know it will not turn as you revolve in bed
(no turning makes you look away from it),
it won't get scratched when it itches.

it ain’t worth one cigarette you smoke,
one bite of your fingernails
or the chance of getting an ulcer.

and in spite of knowing it,
scratching and
turning and
smoking
is what
you
do.

“if only I had something to hold”, you say,
but you really wish you would let go.